Learnings From 2019 — (3):Learn how to say “No” - Even if it’s a short term fix

Afolayan Daniel
2 min readDec 17, 2019

2018 was a year I said “Yes” to everyone and everything. I’d be sick and my boss will be like, Daniel we’ll start to work on XYZ project by 7 pm (NB: i was on a 9-5), and I’d grudgingly say yes. Someone somewhere will call me and say, Daniel you need to help me fix this thing NOW, and I’ll be like...im tired now, can I do this later, and the person will be like, no Daniel, fix it Now (free service oh) and I’ll oblige.

That year was also emotionally draining for me, I accepted every shit thrown my way, everyone that pretended to be friends or family but wanted to use me for selfish and personal reasons. Some folks only called you when they needed help, financially, emotionally, career, or otherwise. I was Mr fix it for lot of folks.

My 'YES' cycle continued till early 2019. Then I did a personal retreat and told myself, "Daniel, you have to be brave enough to let go of the things that are not going to benefit you".

From that moment, I’ve blocked about 35 people on what’sapp, blocked about 20 for calls, said "No" to more than a dozen persons or activities I’d have said yes for.

I became more efficient and developed mutually beneficial relationships with people that mattered. And most importantly, I had a massive peace of mind in 2019.

You can't make everyone happy, and if you try, you'll lose yourself. You can't be perfect and hold yourself to unrealistic standards of making people happy. You'll just suffer and die.

Finally, you don’t have to be toxic in your reactions but you can set boundaries and standards. Decline stuffs politely. And when people mock your new standards, just smile, believe in yourself, go out and create an happier version of yourself by saying YES , only to things that matter.

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Afolayan Daniel

Lead, Google Business Group, Yaba. Program Manager, Edubridge Digital Academy. I love solving problems